Hello sweet bloggie friends. I apologize once again for my blogging absence. I know that I have been much more hit and miss than ever lately. I feel badly about it falling to the bottom of my priority list because it has always been such a happy part of my creative life. Recently though, I've been struggling with the hardest thing I've ever been faced with and I just don't feel much like my old self any more. If you follow my blog you may know a few things about me. You may know that my family is the single most important thing to me in the whole world. You may know that my husband is my very best friend, truly my better half, my rock and the happy that makes my heart flutter (still after 26 years). You may know that my sun rises and sets around my children and that they are the first thought on my mind when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep every single day. You may know that my Mom means the world to me and has always been my biggest cheerleader, my dearest friend and the hero that always makes the world seem manageable. Four months ago I lost my beautiful, courageous Mom and then 5 weeks later my grandmother passed away too. My grandmother was 99 and 11/12's and hubby and I had been her 24/7 caregivers for 2 years. My Mom had been battling illness. She fought like a true and graceful warrior and although her illness was ongoing and had lasted five years since her original diagnosis, her death was unexpected. It was a cruel surprise as she had been maintaining and doing very well. For that reason there were things that I never got to say to her, things that I'd give anything to be able to tell her. Things that she should have gotten to hear because she was amazing and deserved to hear them one more time. Up until about a week before her death we talked every single day. During her last week though she was unable to send email or even talk on the phone and I was receiving around the clock updates from my Step-Dad. I will never forget the minute I heard the news. I will never forget that feeling that sits uncomfortably on my chest still and I wonder now if it will ever go away. I will never forget that I had to mentally remind myself to physically breathe, because for what felt like an eternity I think I had actually forgotten how to. My world forever changed in that instant; I changed forever in that instant. I keep hearing that it will get easier and that things will hurt less and that it will become less challenging with time to celebrate holidays without her or do fun things without being able to share them with her or even that I'll just be able get through the day without crying. Maybe that is true, but right now I am having a hard time believing it. I miss her more than words can begin to describe. I force myself to get up every day and try to put on a smile and make it as long as I can before my resolve weakens and then I give myself yet another pep talk and attempt another smile until my resolve weakens and then I force another pep talk... Loss is a very strange thing. I fully understand that life goes on. I will continue on and life will happen around me. It's the process, but I've also come to understand that it sincerely leaves you a different person to experience such a loss. I miss my Mom very much and I miss the person I once was.
I have decided to take up journaling to put all of these emotions somewhere, so lengthy sad posts like this one will not be the norm here. I wanted to share a bit of an explanation with you though as to my absence and my thought processes. I do want to get back to creating and blogging and sharing and will try to be more consistent about it. I do hope you'll join me again as I attempt to re-navigate life on my new terms. Today I am sharing one of my favorite pictures of my Mom and I. She was happy and fun and sweet and just an amazingly, wonderful human being:
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Ok, on to a project. The new Stampin' Up! cattie is out and is full of lots of wonderful goodies. I spent some time playing this morning and put together this little card:
It's a simple card with a powerful meaning. Life is short, so you really should appreciate and enjoy all the moments. You should definitely laugh as often as you can and most importantly you should love with your whole heart and then some.
It's a gentle color combination with just a touch of sparkle and excitement. I stamped using the Ribbon of Courage stamp set. I quadruple matted my sentiment to make it pop. I built the bow using the Bow builder punch. I punched a 1" circle and tucked it under my sentiment and scooped up a scrap strip of gold to add to my Blushing Bride strip and finally embossed the bottom of the card with the new very awesome Pinewood Planks Embossing Folder.
Words to live by.
If you see anything you just can't live without, feel free to pop on over to my store and add it to your collection. Click the pics below and it will magically take you right to it.
Product List
I will be back soonest with more to share. Hope to see you here. Have a really great day.
Glad to see you back! So very sorry for your loss AnnMarie. Loss is a very hard thing to comprehend and navigate through. I'll keep you in my prayers! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with us; there are many of us who understand all too well what you are feeling and experiencing. Blessings and love as you navigate the journey through grief. I love your card!!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your losses. It is so very hard to lose a mother. After four years I still find it strange that I can't pick up the phone and share a special event with her. Time does not heal all things, but you will learn how to live with your loss. Hugs...Jeannine
ReplyDeleteHey sweet friend! Of course I will be stopping by your blog if you decide to carry on with it. Creating lovely things is an important part of who you still are. Take it as slow as you need to and always remember you have lots of friends who love you and will be there for you. Just ask and I will be happy to help whenever needed! HUGS-Kavi
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see you back in blogland. I know the heartache that losing a parent especially your mom can bring. I pray that day by day it will get a little easier and dull the ache. Hugs, Maggie
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